In case you haven't heard, there's a three-month heatwave predicted, and there's been a flurry of people triumphantly crowing about spending two weeks in the garden lying on a picnic rug. We say 'Beware' to these people; here are ten watertight reasons why staycations are a bad idea.
1) You will not dedicate an entire week to 'fixing your house'. You've sorted out your home insurance (which is terrific and highly commendable, by the way - top marks) and you've started clearing out the garage. However, do not delude yourselves - you will lose interest in revamping the garden, decorating the dining room and painting your eldest's bedroom over seven days. You'll go back to work feeling like you've wasted your time off, which you sort-of have. Life is for living, not spending hours queuing at the tip.
2) The neighbours will probably do the same as you. An entire week relaxing in the garden will not be possible once other people's kids start playing football in theirs at 7am, and all the neighbours' barbecues and parties kick off. Not only will 50 drunk strangers be staring through the fence at your swimwear-clad body, but you'll also risk losing face if you weren't invited in the first place.
3) There are so many cheap deals available on the internet. We're serious. Just Google 'cheap holiday 2015'; you'll be spoiled for choice.
4) Staying at home can be just as expensive. Even if you don't have children which require numerous Pizza Hut and cinema outings, staying at home can be just as damaging to your finances. The potential for internet shopping while you're sunning yourself is high, and we bet you'll eat out a few times as another meal spent staring at the same four walls will become intolerable.
5) Don't even think about a UK-based beach break. Not only is the British weather notoriously unreliable, but studies done in 2009 and 2012 have suggested that booking a break in the UK can be just as expensive as going abroad. The exchange rate in Europe is favourable at the moment; if you've been put off a European destination in the past, now's the chance to change your way of thinking.
6) You'll go back to work sick of the sight of your own house. 'What did you do?' 'Oh, you know... wandered around the kitchen in a state of permanent dismay, fed the cat, went back to bed.'
7) You're missing out on other cultures. We're the first to admit that we love the UK, and spotting England's green and pleasant land as we head towards the runway always thrills us. However, don't miss out on the opportunity to see the world, meet new people, try new foods and see things that may excite/shock/appal/delight you. You've got the rest of your life to enjoy queues on the way to Brighton or strip the floors.
8) Work may take advantage. In 2011, it was reported that one in four bosses think it's OK to call people during their summer holidays. If you're unlucky enough to have a boss who thinks this is acceptable, think twice about telling them you'll be in the UK for your break; they'll be on the phone before you can say: 'That's fine, no problem, I'll pop in for a few hours this afternoon.'
9) You will almost certainly run out of things to do. Even if you live in London, the spiritual home of fun, free things to do, there's only so much you'll be able to take. By day three, you'll realise an uncomfortable truth - you're bored at home, and you're stressed if you leave the house.
10) Your dinner party conversation will be lacking. Telling friends and associates that you spent a week 'pottering in the shed' or 'clanging about in the kitchen, sorting things' will cause social awkwardness and will probably result in your exclusion from future dinner parties. And you don't want that. Maybe you do. Either way, be aware.
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